Three Quick Thoughts

Should your team (or my team for that matter) even consider bringing Barry Bonds in before the deadline?

The short answer is…yes.

You might be saying to yourself, “Self, why should my team subject itself and its good reputation to the acquisition of a steroid freak who has an ego bigger than Kirstie Allie after an all-nighter at the Ryan’s mega bar?”

Well, the first thing that you have to ask yourself is does Barry Bonds make your team better. You are going to have to be completely objective and look at it almost strictly from a statistical standpoint (plus, we have to assume that your team’s scouts feel that he can put up roughly the same numbers that he was averaging in the 2007 season).

Barry Bonds, if put on your team on July 25 and barring any type of injury, would get somewhere in the neighborhood of 225 plate appearances (not at bats…but actual attempts at the plate). He could probably hit somewhere around 18-20 homers and drive in about 40 runs. But more important than any of that is that he would actually reach base 110 times. 110 times?! There is not a team in baseball that couldn’t benefit from a guy getting on base almost 50% of the time that he walks up to the plate.

From a purely offensive standpoint, I think that he adds almost a run per game to your scoreboard. As for his play in left field…if you’re the Braves, it’s not really a step back.

Should the University of Texas retire the numbers of Vince Young and Kevin Durant?

The short answer is…yes and no.

Vince Young – he played three years of college football for the Longhorns. He was an All-American, he set Big 12 records, he won a National Championship and he brought glory to the boys in burnt orange.

Kevin Durant – he played one year of college basketball for the Longhorns. He was an All-American, he set Big 12 records, he didn’t win a National title but, like Young, he brought glory to the boys in burnt orange.

That all being said, there is one thing that Vince Young did that Kevin Durant has not – Vince Young finished his degree.

If you want your number immortalized, or in Durant’s case, “raised into the rafters” you have to be a model student athlete at the university in which you attend. Now, there is no doubt in my mind that Durant was one of the finest athletic specimens to EVER come through Austin but as far as his scholastic achievements go…he’s no better than that sketchy guy who just hangs out in the corner of the college bar staring at the local co-eds. They probably have the same amount of actual college experience.

Durant, finish your degree then you can have your number raised.

Should anyone be surprised if Heath Ledger is nominated for an Oscar for his performance in The Dark Knight?

The short answer is…no.

I know that Heath Ledger has passed away and that we are still in that stage of grief where no one wants to harshly critique anything that he ever did but his performance in The Dark Knight was phenomenal.

It was so evil and so diabolical and so utterly captivating that it made us forget that Jack Nicholson ever even played the role. It literally took the character to a completely different level and left me walking out of the theatre wanting to know what exactly it was that made The Joker tick.

I know that one day people will make another series of Batman movies. And I know that you cannot possible have Batman without having The Joker. Therefore, I know that one day someone else will probably be cast as The Joker. But all that being said, if Heath Ledger was the last person to ever play The Joker, I’d be okay with that.

A Special Sectional

So...

Some years ago – it’s not really important how long precisely – I found myself falling in love with sports and, well, history. I became engrossed with records. Things like who had scored the most points in NBA history (Kareem Abdul-Jabbar), who had scored the most touchdowns in an NFL career (Jerry Rice – who I was able to watch during the prime of his career) and who had hit the most home runs in Major League Baseball history (Atlanta’s own Hank Aaron – more on this another time).

Then, as my young sports mind grew, I began learning (via teaching aides like media guides and record books) who had won major championships in tennis and golf, how they had won them, who had won batting titles, scoring titles, won MVP Awards, etc.

Eventually, when I saw a “unique” play or circumstance, I found my curiosity wanting to know when the last time someone else had preformed that same feat.

Fast forward to June 2, 2008 where PGA Tour player, Jason Bohn, drops a 62 on the field at the U.S. Open Sectional Qualifier at Ansley Golf Club-Settindown Creek. When was the last time that someone fired a ten-under 62 on this track? Well, never.

It was neat to be there and watch him tap in that last putt (one of his few pars on the round) and walk off the green with Ollie Schniederjans, a fellow competitor who was only 14 years old. Fourteen?! Who else in Sectional Qualifying could be that young? Well, no one.

I had the opportunity to see the youngest player to advance to Sectional Qualifying of the 2008 U.S. Open play golf alongside another player, the eventual co-medalist, who would shoot a course-record 62.

Not a bad day at the office…at least, for a Monday.

The Man, The Myth, The Legend

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

-Dean Vernon Wormer
--Animal House

Rockin' Roger

So...

Just the other day the New York Daily News reported that our favorite boy of baseball, Roger Clemens, had a decade-long relationship with country music "star" Mindy McCready beginning back when he was pitching for the Boston Red Sox and was 28 years old. She, at the time, was 15 years old.

This got me thinking on a lot of different levels and at the end of it all I just have a feeling that this is not going to come off well for The Rocket.

First, forget the fact that Clemens' lawyer, Rusty Hardin (which HAS to be a made-up name), said that Clemens "flatly denies having had any kind of an inappropriate relationship with her." We're not going to even touch that one. I'm not in the business of deciding what is appropriate or inappropriate. All I know is that my boy Goin used to constantly preach that "15 will get you 20." What I am perplexed about, however, is why Clemens had ANY KIND of relationship with a 15-year old.

I am 27 years old, almost the same age as Clemens when this alleged relationship began. I don't know ANY 15-year-old kids. None!...That includes family. So where did Roger even meet this girl?! You can't possibly tell me that Clemens had family friends that said, "Hey, Roger, come over here and meet Mindy. She's going to be huge in country music one day." And even if they did, what could he have possibly had in common with her that would have constituted a "relationship"?

After realizing that I had no friends that fell into the actuall category of what we would refer to as a "teenager," I began to think about how many friends I have that are actually girls. Now, I have many female friends that, in a social setting, I feel perfectly comfortable walking up to, giving a hug to and sharing a drink and converation with. That being said, I think that I might have one, maybe two, that I would actually feel somewhat comfortable hanging out with in a one-on-one situation...and I use "somewhat" for a reason. So, I can only imagine one female friend that I could hang out with that wouldn't yield a tremendously awkward situation and I'm not even putting an age restriction on it.

Now, I've decided that I don't know any teenagers and I have very few female friends that I could hang out with in a one-on-one setting. That makes me wonder what 28-year-old Roger Clemens did with 15-year-old Mindy McCready. Did they go out to dinner? To movies? Listen to music together? Not only that, but when did they do these things? Nights? Weekends?

Here's how I think things would go:
[On the phone]
Roger: Hi, Mindy. What's up?
Mindy: Not much just got home from school.
Roger: Cool. I'm getting ready for the game tonight. I'm pitching.
Mindy: Fun!
Roger: So, you want to go out later tongiht? Like, after the game?
Mindy: Sure, but I have to be in by 10 p.m. I have school tomorrow.
Roger: Oh, well the game probably won't be over before that...maybe we can hang out on Tuesday - we have an off-day.
Mindy: Okay. Want to go see a movie?
Roger: Great! That new movie "Total Recall" just came out and it looks AWESOME!!! Can you pick up the tickets?
Mindy: Well, I can't...it's Rated-R so you'll have to pick them up. But what about "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"?
Roger: Ehhnnn...I don't know...
Mindy: Pleeeeeeease...
Roger [exasperated]: Fine.

There is one thing that I know will come out of this whole thing though. Roger Clemens will undoubtedly come off as being more of a sleazebag than ever before. I mean, people already didn't like him. Now, you're throwing a possible "scandal" out there? No way that he survives this.

The only other definite that I know about: I'm sure that my next post will be much more happy-go-lucky...unless I decide to write about the Braves pitching staff.

Quick Thoughts...

--All four No. 1 seeds made it to the Final Four this year (first time since the field was expanded to 64). My attempts at a winning bracket were destroyed after the first weekend of games though. Louisville helped me out near the end and Stanford tried to save me but, alas, Cheek is last in the ol' office pool once again.

--Lady Cheek is going to play bunko with her friends tonight. I don't have one male friend, not a single one, that can explain to me what the object of the game is. I'm not even sure it's a real game. I think that "bunko" could be a cover.

--As many of you know, when a team defeats Georgia in the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament, I go on record as not picking them for a five-year period. Xavier, you're on the clock!

--Because I feel like everyone should know that I'm not completely braindead: Despite my miserable attempt in the ol' office pool, my picks for the final game are still in tact (UCLA over UNC).

--Tom Glavine is making his first start in a Braves uniform in over five years. I'm going to go see him pitch. Maybe "bunko" is girl-talk for "Why don't you go take in a ballgame with one of you buddies?"

Pure Madness

The most unproductive days of the year are about to begin...

Oscar Night - 2008

Bah-da-da-da-da-da-da Hollywood! Bah-da-da-da-da-da-da HOLLYWOOD!!!

It's Oscar night! This has always been one of my favorite award shows of the year. Normally I'll do a running diary for the night hitting all the highlights, and low-lights, but tonight has turned out to be a little different.

I just got about an hour into a diary when I realized that nothing has really happened. This has been kind of a boring Oscar night (as far as the Academy Awards go). The best picture nominees are all films that didn’t get seen by a huge number of people…even though everyone seems to claim that they saw Juno. Amongst all the acting nominees, there really isn’t any of those real “blockbuster” names. It’s just sort of a “let’s see who pulls out a couple statues” kind of night.

Jon Stewart has been doing extremely well as the host though. Not only was this guy laying down some great one-liners, he made one of the classier moves I’ve ever seen on the Oscar Stage when he let Marketa Irglova (who won for Best Song in her collaboration with Glen Hansard).

Note: Their song “Falling Slowly” is absolutely great and upon them winning I helped crash iTunes for a quick purchase.

Hansard and Irglova went up to get their statues and just as Marketa was taking to the microphone for her end of the thank you speech the mic lowered into the floor and the orchestra started playing. She left the stage without being able to say a word.

Stewart, however, came back from commercial and immediately re-intorduced Irglova and let her come out and give her thank you’s. Kudos to Jonny “Daily Show” for his classy move and for realizing that this girl deserves to have her moment even if it means that he has to give up a couple of jokes that will probably be forgotten in five minutes anyway.

The overall slowness of the evening, along with the many, MANY montages that the production crew put together for us (obviously fearing that the writers’ strike might still be going on) made me think about some of my favorite moments from the past few year’s - it made me think of some of the funnier, some of the joyful and some of the crazier moments. Here are a couple of good ones:

Roberto Benigni

Cuba Gooding, Jr.

Adrian Brody

Will Ferrell, Jack Black & John C. Reilly

These are a few of my favorite moments but I can’t tell you how awesome it was to watch Ben Affleck and Matt Damon win Best Original Screenplay for Good Will Hunting. It was like two of my buddies, guys my age had cracked through the Hollywood hierarchy and won something BIG. It was a really cool moment. Also, watching Robin Williams win later that night for his role in the same film was really great because we really got to see a different side of him.

But by far, the best part of the Academy Awards show, as long as I have been tuning in, was any time that Billy Crystal took the stage. This guy is the modern day Bob Hope and really should be allowed to host anytime he wants to. I understand that the Academy needs to “attract a more youthful demographic” but Crystal was just plain phenomenal. The guys sings, dances, tells jokes and is just genuinely one of the most entertaining persons in business.

So, all in all, was the Oscars telecast the best? No. was it the worst? No. Was it a great way to waste away a Sunday night after a long weekend? You betcha!