So, as I sit her thinking about how many Thanksgiving calories I can burn by simply thinking about burning Thanksgiving calories my mind finds itself deviating to a couple other things...
First, and I'll keep this one brief, I realized for the first time in my life what Thanksgiving really is. It's a tailgate party for women. When someone told me this, I calmly chuckled and said, "Ha ha. Good one. That's funny." Then I started to think about it. That's when I decided to take a hard look at the women in my family during Thanksgiving and found that there is actually some validity to this whole thing.
Just like men at a tailgate party the women showed up each carrying a different dish - something to share with the group. Then they set up camp for the day. They went on to joke around with one another and shared stories of year's gone by. Most importantly though, this all took place right before the "biggest game of the year"...BLACK FRIDAY! The Super Bowl of Shopping Day's for women. I swear I heard my cousin Ellen and Lady Cheek harkening back to the glory days of Black Fridays of the past.
"Oh, that will never top the great sale of '94!"
"You girls don't know the half of it! Back in '74 we won the Macy's National Championship! Those were the good ol' days."
Second, Jack Swarbrick. You don't know who he is, do you? Well, he is - of course - the illustrious Athletic Director of the University of College Football in America...better known as "Notre Dame."
Ol' Jack had an interesting quote today as he was signing Charlie Weis's $18-million dollar walking papers.
"I am excited to embark full bore on the process of finding the right next successor to the legacy of Rockne and Leahy and Parseghian and Holtz."
ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME?!
Listen, everyone who really loves Notre Dame...and I mean, REALLY loves Notre Dame...is like 60 years old. They walk around calling people "whipper snapper" and complaining about kids' long hair and loud music. Bottom line is getting those 17 and 18-year old blue-chip athletes on your campus is what wins games, not tradition. Those players don't care about Knute Rockne, they don't care about the "Four Horsemen" and they sure as heck don't care about this so-called legacy and tradition. Those things are for fans.
Athletes of that age and potential care about four things when considering college: sunshine, hot chicks, academic standards that aren't too rigid and getting to the NFL. Look at the biggest powerhouse football programs out there right now - Southern California, Florida, LSU, Texas, etc. Notre Dame isn't offering the same thing as them.
Seriously. Come on, Jack. I don't even know if Knute Rockne ever really existed. I don't know anything about this "Lee High" fellow and the only reason I know Ari Parseghian is because of the movie "Rudy." And don't get me started on Lou Holtz - he's not a legend. He was a decent coach who strung together a couple good years and now spends his days spitting at the cameras on the set of ESPN shows.
Get over yourself, Notre Dame. You're not what you think you are.