Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Fictional Sports

So, as we come off the Golden Globes and inch ever closer to Oscar-Time, I find myself thinking of, not sports movies, but, sports IN movies…which brings me to my thoughts on the top five fictional sporting events that I wish I could have attended.

***Note: It was tough putting these in any kind of order and I’m not 100% sure that I am settling on this as my final answer. But it’s a good place to start.***

Starting with the guys that didn’t make it...

Just missing the cut: The game -- The Sandlot; Roy McAvoy playing in the U.S. Open -- Tin Cup; Rockford Peaches vs. Racine Belles in the AAGPBL World Series -- A League of Their Own; plus, I would have loved to see Henry Rowengartner pitch – Rookie of the Year.

I think that a very special honorable mention needs to go to any time Coach Norman Dale took his basketball team from Hickory High onto the court. He also gives some of the best pre-game speeches ever.

Onward! To the finalists!

5. New York Yankees vs. Cleveland Indians (aka, the one-game playoff for the American League’s Eastern Division Championship) -- Major League.
Thanks to stellar defense, “the crafty veteran” Eddie Harris tosses eight and two-thirds innings of two-run ball before giving way to the bullpen. I bet the ol’ Municipal Stadium was absolutely electric when Cerrano hit that two-run bomb in the bottom half of the seventh! But it wouldn’t be an Indians victory without an appearance of The Wild Child himself…cue Ricky Vaughn and X’s version of Wild Thing!

4. Ducks vs. Hawks (aka, the finals of the Minnesota State Pee Wee Championships) -- The Mighty Ducks.
Banks taking on his old team, Bombay going up against the coach that may have ultimately ruined his life – you can cut the tension in the room with a knife! Plus, growing up in the south I never had an understanding of hockey so this was very new and exciting to me. I mean, this is youth hockey and they have radio announcers?!

3. The All-Valley Karate Championships -- The Karate Kid. I cannot begin to tell you what it would have been like to be at this event.

2. Beavers vs. Cadets (aka the game where Scott Howard first turns into a werewolf in public) -- Teen Wolf. The crowd is temporarily shocked -- which is a little odd -- but then rejoices as the wolf completes what seems like a quadruple-double to win the game and the admiration of the whole school.

1. Rocky Balboa vs. Ivan Drago -- Rocky IV. Still one of my all-time favorite movie moments. When flipping through the channels, if you stumble upon this flick you simply have to stop. The film contains some of the best/most ridiculous quotes ever. I want Duke yelling at me while I run or work out. "No pain! No pain!!!" I can’t confirm this but I’m also pretty sure that this movie single-handed ended the cold war.

That’s it. That’s the list.


Joe said...

Stellar work. Would love to see you dovetail this with the greatest sports-movie theme songs (the Rocky IV music still gives me goosebumps, as does anything from "Hoosiers")!

Tony said...

Want a good non-fictional sports movie? Try taking care of business, I mean the cubs in the world series?? Beluschi breaks out of prison to go the world series and finds a daytimer of a millionaire only to break back into prison dressed as a woman... Stellar

Jeff said...

Nice work cheek, yet i'm highly disappointed Hoosiers didn't even crack the top 5, I almost stopped reading, then I glanced down and noticed Teen Wolf, totally redeeming yourself, I will now go and play Mark Safan's "Win in the End" on my Ipod and think of the glorious 80's... The glowbugs would have rocked that highschool, if tony or bryson were only werewolves...

Joe said...

I do have to throw a couple more fictional matches into the mix that I think were grossly neglected:

1) Hanson Brothers first game for the Chiefs in "Slap Shot"
2) Joe Cain leading Eastern State University to a pivotal, bowl-clinching victory against GA Tech in "The Program"
3) Bull Hurley v. Lincoln Hawk at the Las Vegas Armwrestling Championships in "Over the Top"
4) Louden Swain v. Brian Shute in the Washington State High School Wrestling Championship in "Vision Quest"
5) Roy Hobbs' final game for the Knights in "The Natural"
6) Judge Smails/Doctor Beeper vs. Ty Webb/Al Czervik/Danny Noonan in "Caddyshack"

Cheek said...

Not going to lie to you, Joey...I really can't believe I left out the Hanson brothers. That was a terrible omission. I blame society.

As for the match in Caddyshack, I actually did think about that but just have a problem putting any golf event on the list because it is such a hard sport to be a spectator at.

I also had thoughts of going to the game where Coach Pete Bell led Butch, Ricky and Neon and Western University to the win over #1 Indiana. I also would have loved to be in that post-game press conference.

Anonymous said...

Excellent list. I personally would love to have seen the game between the O'Shea brothers in "Little Giants" just to watch the awe inspiring annexation of puerto rico play first hand! Think we can tap that youngster as UGA's next offensive coordinator? ~ Crenshaw

Anonymous said...

Cheek great list. Only thing I might add is the championship scene from Kingpin. Anything that makes watching bowling seem fun has to get honorable mention in my book. Besides I can't help but see a little bit of my old self in Bill M's hair/celebratory dance.


Anonymous said...

The Indiana High School Athletic Association let every team into the tournament, and the Hickory Huskers were playing for the title...and you would rather watch the predictable triple deek? Others to consider: Pro Am with Happy and Barker; Billy Chapel on the bump; Henry Rowengardner closing for the great Chet Stedmon; and the Malibu Sands Beach Club volleyball victory...