Thursday, July 23, 2009

Burning Questions

So, I haven't been writing much due to traveling for work, grad school projects and playing at the pool...
But I find myself plagued by three questions lately:

Question 1 - Where has Terrell Owens made a bigger contribution to society: the reality show, "The T.O. Show" or the cereal, "T-O's"?
--This one was hard one to answer on the surface. The T.O. Show is bad. I mean REALLY bad. I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when those VH1 executives were sitting in the room coming up with new show ideas...
VH1 Executive 1: Okay. We need something new. We need something that the kids can get behind.
Exec 2: we could start playing music again-
VH1 Executive 1: Damn it, Billy! We've discussed this! Music is dead!
Exec 3: We could try doing a reality show.
VH1 Executive 1: I'm listening...
Exec 3: Okay. So we grab a star from the NFL. Someone that isn't really that great anymore, since we can't pay much, but someone who loves themselves so much that just the very thought of being on television makes them need to change his pants...
VH1 Executive 1: just described Terrell Owens! This could actually work! The kids will LOVE it!

The problem is that the show ended up being like an episode of Cops - it's so bad that people can't actually look away. It's worse than a train wreck. It's so bad that it come back around, full circle, to being not nearly as bad as it should be.

That being said, you just can't beat cereal. Guys love cereal. I think it has something to do with being able to eat and drink, simultaneously, with one hand while not looking.

Winner: The Cereal

Question 2 - Who is the better replacement: Martin Prado or Bar Refaeli?
--This one seems easy on the surface. The only thing that guys like more than cereal is super models. And it takes one hell of a super model to replace Gisele Bundchen. Enter Bar Refaeli, who recently replaced Gisele as the face of Rampage. What's Rampage, you ask?...Who cares?! All I know is that in order to replace Gisele you better be pretty hot.

Martin Prado, however, has been hotter. In the month of July the guy has hit safely in 15 of 17 games. He's batting .361, with ten extra-base hits, an on-base percentage of .424 and eight RBI. In other words, "Sorry, Bar..." We weren't doing that bad with Gisele but the Braves were not doing so hot with Kelly Johnson at second base.

Winner: Martin Prado

Question 3 - Which LeBron news item is more disturbing: the "dunk" tape or smoking pot in high school?
--This one isn't easy to answer at all...mainly, because both news items are completely lame. My reaction to both pieces of news was "Meh." I mean, who cares? Lots of people smoked marijuana back in the day and a few of those people went on to become our nation's President so what's the big deal if another one has gone on to become the greatest hoopster in the land (Sorry Kobe fans). If you had told me that he was getting in fights in high school, I would have been a little more alarmed but still probably wouldn't care. If you told me that he had been drinking and driving and received a couple DUI's...then I'd be concerned. But smokin' a doobie?...Meh.

The dunk tape controversy is weird though...mainly because it makes Nike, but mostly LeBron, look petty. So, you "got dunked on" by a kid from Xavier. You still make millions of dollars and are considered by most to be the best basketball player on the planet. Why couldn't you just laugh that off? Why couldn't you just say, "Hey man, you got me." Then, come back down the court and just embarass the kid. Don't tell me that you couldn't do that.

Winner: The "Dunk" Tape

More "burning questions" to come in the future.

1 comment:

Joe said...

Is it in all the Buffalo Bills contracts that you have to make a cereal? I guess cereal's huge in upstate New York. Anyway, I'll have to get some T-O's to go with my box of "Flutie Flakes"